Catching up on the latest training news with
NLP Master Trainer, J. Mal Morgan, Jr. President,
Matrix Learning Systems, New Orleans.
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You're ready to make your presentation. You
walk up
to the podium or the front of the room. Your
heart's
beating, your palms are cold, your knees start to
shake, your voice trembles as you start off, "Good
Morning, Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great
pleasure to..."
Why do you feel so sick? Why do you feel so
nervous? Why do you feel so vulnerable?
Simple, really; you haven't yet TRAINED your
BRAIN.
Back to that in a moment, first, you need to
understand a key success factors when speaking in
front of a crowd. You need to have,
#1 Relaxed, controlled, effortless POWER!
Your audience can smell relaxed confidence and
power. I'm not talking
about arrogance; that is something else entirely.
No, I'm talking about smooth, playful, nothing
phases you, relaxed confidence.
I wonder who it was that said, ìPerception is
Reality?î Well, I guess it doesn't really matter WHO
said it, the fact is- itís true.
How you perceive your reality affects the reality
around you. When you have relaxed confidence,
you will feel completely differently.
Now, I know it doesnít FEEL that way.
Thatís okay,
because we're grown men and women, and we have
control over our feelings, right? Picture it now:
You are facing down a snake and you hear your
dad's voice in your head:Your Dad: ìDonít worry,
son, that snake is more
scared of you than you are of it.î
You: ìThanks, dad, but if that stupid snake bites
me, that pearl of wisdom isn't going to suck out
the venom, is it?î
All right, so sometimes fear gets the better of us.
The trick is not letting that stop you. Itís okay
to
feel fear, but if you let it stop you, then youíve hit a
wall.
Funny thing about fear; the more you whoop it,
the
less power it has over you.
Think back to the last time you stood up like a
man with relaxed confidence in the face of
adversity and
made things work in your favor.
I mean something where you had relaxed
confidence and SUCCEEDED.
It could be any moment in
your life. For example, entering a big test with
relaxed confidence or walking onto the sports field
for a big game with relaxed confidence- or directing a
project with relaxed confidence.
Remember how that made you feel?
Well, you need to feel like that BEFORE you approach
the centre of the room when you're presenting.
Weíll come back to this memory. We'll call it
your ìGood Timesî memory.
Most things are like that, by the way. The more you
work at them, the easier they become. Itís called
PRACTICE. But here is a funny little short cut:
You donít need to actually physically practice
at
something to make your brain think you are good at
it.
The lump of grey matter in your head is a super-
sophisticated computer, and one if its main
functions
is to do what you tell it to do.
If you tell it what it wants to hear, it always
follow
directions. Think back to your ìGood Timesî
memory. Take your eyes off the room. Scan the
crowd, close
your eyes, whatever. Just focus on that memory and
the way it made you feel. Relax. Keep replaying
your ìvictory momentî over and over again.
See? You ARE a winner.
Youíve just hoodwinked your brain. See, all
those
times before, when you wanted to make a
presentation, you've set yourself up as a failure.
You keep recalling what it felt like to fail and all
the
little things that go along with it.
And, because we like to torture ourselves,
we
imagine extra badness; like all of the audience
mocking us, or the people in the audience shaking
their heads.
Itís because our brains like to give us whatever
we
ask for, even unconsciously. So when you are
approaching the centre stage, somewhere in you
is the thought, ìI can't do this.î
This thought triggers the brain, which
goes, ìHey,
right, he can't do this. OH NO! What if he tries? I
have to stop him; quick, I'll flood him with all the
horrible things that could happen to him!î
But now, using the good feelings and confidence
brought on by your ìGood Timesî memory, your
brain
is thinking ìWow, he sure is a winner. Didn't he look
good when he stood up, presented like that and
won?î
Before you know it, your body is being flooded
with
feel-good stuff, which in turn makes you
relaxed,
which in turn boosts confidence, which in turn alerts
the brain to release more feel-good stuff.
See where Iím going? Me, Iíd go for Relaxed
Confidence over Freaked Out any day.
ACT relaxed and your brain THINKS you ARE relaxed.
It releases serotonin, relaxes muscles, and regulates
your breathing. Then you start to feel MORE relaxed.
ACT confident and people TREAT you as if you
ARE
confident. Then your brain notices this and
(always
following orders) continues to make you FEEL
confident.
If you FEEL relaxed confidence, then you
HAVE
relaxed confidence.
And guess what happens to your confidence level
when you score that applause from your audience?
Now having relaxed confidence is the
FOUNDATION
state you want to have. But there are many
other "helper states" you can program into your mind
for yourself - like playfulness for example.
Relaxed confidence combined with helper states
like
playfulness make a killer combination that your
audience find simply irresistible.
Just have relaxed, controlled, effortless power!
And your next public speech will be a sure winner!
