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Ricky's Review
Ricky's Monthly Newsletter February 2007

In this issue

Out & About

'My way or the highway' isn't communication

Quote of the Day


 

Out & About

Happy Chinese New Year 2007...Kong Hei Fatt Choy!

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Prosperity. Fook. That's the Chinese character for it, but placed upside down as you can see in the pix.

Why is it upside down? Because it's meant to ensure that money, wealth, prosperity pours into the bottom of the character which has the Chinese word for box. In fact, the character looks like a box, so prosperity will pour straight into the box! Maybe that's why we say, "bottoms up?" (Just kidding!)

Well, prosperity is what most of us want. Some will get it. Some won't. And those who get it, need to work hard at it.

I've found that if you're hard at it, life becomes easier. But if you're easy at addressing life's issues, then life becomes hard.

T Harv Eker in his wonderful book, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, writes a formula that makes a lot of sense.
It's CZ = WZ

In other others, your Comfort Zone equals your Wealth Zone.

If you stay within your comfort zone, and never stretch yourself, you'll always remain where you currently are. Richness and prosperity come only when you stretch yourself outside of your comfort zone.

There's a term for it in biology...it's called homeostasis. It's a process for maintaining physiological equilibrium in the functions, chemical composition, and so forth of an organism. Or we could say that it's a tendency for living organisms to stay comfortable in it's environment...a comfort zone! To grow, we must break through that environment.

So plan more. Do more. Make that extra sales call. Practice your presentation opening and closing one more time. Then do it again. And again. Go see what else the customer needs. Then go beyond what s/he expects you to do. Go the extra mile.

Say 'Hello' to a stranger and be the first to make a new acquaintance. You'll never know whether this could turn out into good business in the future.

Then do it again the next day. And the next.

Get at those extra duties. Volunteer for more work. Network with more people. Solve more problems. Become more productive at work. Become more performance oriented. Help your team mates more. Smile more!

And at home, love more. Understand more. Communicate better. Talk more. Have more empathy.

Then watch your Prosperity bowl just fill up! Go on. Try it. Just do it day by day. Don't try to go hard for a whole year...just do it...one day at a time. Do the thing and you will have the power. Little by little you will gain that power to prosperity.

Then write to me at the end of the year and tell me how much prosperity you've accumulated! I betcha it'll be a whole lot of abundance and more!




Greetings!

I've been in Sydney between end January and returned to Singapore in the middle of February.

It's Summer time in Australia, but Sydney got very little of the usual heatwaves. So I was treated to beautiful days of deep blue skies, cool nights and comfortable weather.

I enjoyed the wonderful seafood that Sydney is famous for, drank some nice wines, and visited some old haunts. It was a great break to have away from business and to take some time to reflect on the year just gone past and to make firmer plans for 2007. Now it's back to business!

This month's article is on making communication stay on track whenever you're relating with others and there's a tendency towards argument.

I hope you enjoy it.

To your success...

Ricky

PS: If you want to learn more about how to relate and get on better with others plus get more done at work, I'm presenting a workshop at the Asian Summit for Secretaries & Admin Professionals 2007 (ASSAP2007) called, "Emotional Intelligence (EQ) in the Office...How to Bring Out the Best in Yourself & Others" on May 8 2007 (April 27 class is already sold out!) . Click here for more details.

PPS: If you have any comments or feedback, do write me a line
by clicking here.


  • 'My way or the highway' isn't communication
  • Which way now...this way...that way...does anyone know? ***********************************************************

    When was the last time you argued with someone? When was the last time someone said something to you and made you angry as a stinging hornet? Did you have a time when someone disagreed with you and called you by a stupid name? Worse still, they swore at you?

    Just like the picture above, you and the other person are on different tracks and so you argue to establish your dominance or knowledge of what's correct or what's not.

    But you know something? The problem isn't the problem. We all have problems. Problems need to be solved by communicating and mutual respect for each other rather than shouting and/or insinuations or by calling each other names like squid or blur!

    When you don't listen to others, communication breaks down. Listening shuts down. And all you get is a shouting match. Why don't people listen? Let's look at some of the things that stop us from listening:

    • I know more than you
    • Different perceptions
    • Different education levels
    • Prejudice
    • Past differences
    • No respect
    • Don't like the person
    • Bossy nature of the other

    I'm sure you can come up with even more reasons as to why we'd argue with a boss, your spouse, your children, customer, friend or family member. But the problem is...when you lose your temper, you might start to blame the other.

    And that puts you into a victim mentality. "You made me do that by being late!" Or "You make me so angry when you keep on changing the subject!" Or, "It's all YOUR fault, you didn't tell me in time!"

    Have you ever watched "The Arena" on Singapore TV? It's reality tv where high school students argue and debate against each to score points. No one's really listening to each other, they just seem to go to war and hurl words against each other. No one's really listening to each other. Well, that's just entertainment on tv.

    My argument is that you shouldn't do this at home! Nor at work! Why? Because it makes you hated by the other. A shouting match is only good on reality tv. Don't do it in real life. You don't have an audience to cheer you on.

    What can you do when someone shouts at you? Hereís a few things you can do:

    • Speak in a conversational tone
    • Don't raise your voice
    • Take deep breaths; expel most of the air in your lungs
    • Listen to understand, not to disagree
    • State your opinion confidently
    • Manage your ego and your temper
    • It's only an opinion from the other person
    • Don't go to war with words
    • Remember the importance of the relationship
    • Go hard on the problem, soft on the person

    Above all, stay calm. The world has many tracks. We will have as many points of view as there are roadways. You donít have to agree with everyone. Just stay true to your own track. And allow others to have their say.

    Compromise, collaborate, negotiate wherever you can. Life, after all, is give and take. Itís a lot better than just arguing for argument's sake! Aim for a win/win situation if you can. If not, as Stephen Covey says, agree to disagree agreeably.

    (c) Mindset Media 2007

  • Quote of the Day
  • From Stuart Wilde, one of my favourite philosophers, from his book, The Secrets of Life

    On Busy Work

    If you analyse your life you will probably find that much of the effort you put in gets you little or no return.

    The mind creates for you "busy work" which is nothing more than rushing around without a definite plan or direction, killing time till the day ends.

    As you become centred on who you are and what you want, the effort you put into your life begins to pay dividends.

    You telescope the amount of time you need to finish a project into tighter and tighter packets of concerted action.

    By identifying which of your actions bring rewards and which do not, you eliminate the dross and make way for simplicity and success.

    Ideally, your life should be designed so that your needs come to you rather than you having to chase after them.

    By being organised and disciplined you will tend to hit the bull's-eye with just one dart. That leaves you time to eat chocolate and go fishing!

    What do you think about Stuart's philosophy? Any comments? I invite your thoughts, so do write to me if you have any thoughts to add to this

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