The happy folks at MobileOne
Ltd - "1 Life, Live It!" ask powerful
questions and give their thumbs up
to Think On Your Feet(R)!
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After reading the historic event of the Charge of the
Light Brigade, I was really touched with sadness at
the events that happened 154 years ago.
This event is classified in the history books as one of
the biggest blunders ever made by the British cavalry.
The charge of the Light Brigade, soldiers on
horseback, was a massive blunder and caused
irrecoverable loss - most of the light cavalry was gone.
So who was to blame for giving such an imprecise
order that sent hundreds of men to their certain
deaths?
Lord Raglan, the commander of the soldiers
was blamed for issuing an imprecise order. Though
he was on a mountain ridge and saw the
arrangement of the soldiers below, he was assuming
that Lord Cardigan, the leader of the Light Brigade
could see where the enemy was.
General Airey, (the Adjutant General) was
blamed because he wrote the order
Captain Nolan was blamed as he took the
order to Lord Cardigan. When Cardigan asked
Nolan, "Which guns?", Nolan waved his arm towards
the Russian guns and said, "There is your enemy!"
Lord Cardigan, who led the charge was
blamed for not checking or questioning the order.
So how do we avoid imprecise communication and
oral speech in the office? Here are 5 questions from
the study of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) for
clarifying language as we know that language and
words mean different things to different people:
1. Comparatives. If someone says, "That's too
expensive!", simply ask for more information by
saying, "In comparison with what other item or
standard?"
2. Unspecified nouns. If someone says, "His
productivity is way too low, " we'd need to clarify what
exactly is meant by the word "productivity". Is it
meaning the hours of productivity? Or is it meaning
that John is not as effective or efficient, and therefore
not as productive as before? Or is
it meaning the machinery of productivity?
So whenever you hear an indefinite noun, ensure that
you ask for more details to share the meaning.
3. Verbs. When someone says, "He made me
so angry!", simply ask for more information by
asking, "Tell me, how specifically did he make you
angry?". That way, the "fat" is trimmed away and you
can find out what exactly happened at that time for the
person to be so angry.
4. Rules. Many rules come from faulty beliefs.
So you can ask a friendly question to clarify and to
understand a little more about what the other person
is saying when you hear a "should" or a "shouldn't"
a "must" or a "musn't", a "have to", a "can't", or
an "ought." These are called modal operators
in linguistics, as these words contain rules that
may or may not be correct.
We often build fences around possible actions, and
once we do so, there are other alternatives that we
ignore once we accept the given limitation. So the
rules can be absolute UNLESS we question and help
to break the mental state of the person who has the
rule.
Written and unwritten rules should be often evaluated
to ensure that they still hold true and are necessary
and appropriate. So when someone says, "I can't do
that!", counter with a, "what would happen if you did?".
Or if someone says, "That's just not possible!", you
can counter with a, "what do we need to do to make it
possible?"
5. Universals or generalisations. If someone
says, "They're all like that!". Simply say, "All?" And if
you can find one exception to the rule, then the other
person's statement cannot be true. Some other
examples of universals are, "All men are lazy!" or, "All
women have bad tempers!" and you ask, "Have you
ever known a lady that didn't have a bad temper?"
And that would bring justice back.
Or
someone says, "We never promote women to senior
level!", you could ask, "Well, what would happen if you
did?".
Use these 5 powerful questions only if the outcomes
are
important to you. If the meaning of the words does not
really matter to you, then you don't really have to ask
these pointer questions. When you see a 'fat' abstract
word, phrase or sentence, and you need to clarify that,
use the appropriate question.
Once you can do this comfortably, you'll find your oral
speaking skills advance a lot more, and you'll also
raise your feeling of self-confidence.
Good luck in your practice of asking better and more
powerful questions!
(c) Mindset Media 2007
